hey your not my reflection

look, El..it's my shower from the bungalow!

This is the last thing Judd and Elliot remember before they had been sucked up into Willy Wonka's chocolate tube with da German kid.

Unc'

Wedding flounder

flat-Z

you can't dress them up, and you can't take them out.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #141:

mr. plow

some more great album covers.... http://flabbergastedly.com

in search of judd's sunday buzz

Mab Mab fubble disted

caaann iii haaave t-t-two shhotss peas

JBJ

A study by University of Kentucky nutritionist James Anderson shows that nursing raises a child’s intelligence. “Our study confirms that breast-feeding is accompanied by about a five-points-higher IQ than in bottle-fed infants,” Anderson said. He estimates that “maternal bonding and the decision to breast-feed account for about 40 percent of that increase,” and “60 percent [is] related to the actual nutritional value of the breast milk.” He adds that it takes at least eight weeks of breast-feeding to show any benefit. (AP) ...Sorry, gentlemen: if you can read this, it’s too late for you.

Jukebox Johnny

Where the hell did I put my beer this time?

i'm not as think as you drunk i am.

yar

perfecting the classic 'drummer pose'.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #140:

flat-z

sven, it may be time to take those curlers out of your hair. it's been like a month now.

didn't realize we were spam free again

Sven gets his hair curled and does facial exercises in preparation for his lead role in "The Marty Feldman Story"

First ballet lessons, then this?! Thanks Mom and Dad. Thanks a lot!

Unc"

CHUPACABRA!!!

YIKES

no pictures with my curlers in damt it Carolann!

Sven having a bad hair day!!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #139:

spamming bastards are good. TO POOP ON!

Unc'

Moes O face

"Hello my honey, Hello my baby, Hello my ragtime gal..."

moe

ohhh cheeseburger cheeseburger...give me that cheeseburger

moe and his invisible ball

Unc'

HA CHA CHA CHAA!

Duane Pipe

No, Judd. *THIS* is how you make that face.

moe

...and the cat goes, "that's not my pussy". Ha hha haaaaaaaah!!!!!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #138:

Mike Raffone

Hey, nice marmot!

Dyer Need

WHAT!!!!!!!!!! $12 Bucks for a shot!!! Screw you BBQ!!

Captain McAllister

Yar he blows!!!!!!!!!

judd channels fred gwynn at the munster's 2008 auditions. ooh, lilly! huh huh huh huuuuuuuh huuh....

New Hope. It's not just a place. It's a lifestyle.

Unc'

Frankenjudd.

Stove Top instead of potatoes!?! I'm stayin'!!

you DO have YAMS!!

Unc'

Same look Lee Harvey Oswald had upon being shot.

Oooo! Are those watercress sandwiches?

Unc

DOH!!

H G Wells

Judd performing felatio on the Invisible Man, again.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #137:

duh
http://www.uweb.ucsb.edu/~cjwade/images/buckethead.jpg

y

Poot y tang

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/4929/Alcohol+Research/

http://ihasabucket.com/

who's this?

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1465110581

Unc'

Scrooge McDuck http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1464614450

ca

scrooooged http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1463767804

Unc'

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1347327874

Judd missed his calling...

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1291376208

buckethead

Sven has been looking a little bit pail these day

kg

maybe hangin' with Sven in a bucket baby but at least I'm enjoyin' the ride

UNC'

Anti hangover device

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #136:

grivvy

This tastes like piss.How 'bout bringing me a bottle of 'change the f-ing picture?

Panama Joke

I drink this and it grew this much

WHAT THE HE!! IS THIS WHERE IS THE FROTH AND THE LITTLE UMBRELLA?!?!

This is why rock stars should die young. They get really scary as they near forty!

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com

Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest— Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest— Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

YARGH! This ain't CSR!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #135:

bam just hasn't been the same ever since getting butt raped by the invisible man

bam must be tired, time to change the foto.

bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants bees bees bees in my pants bees bees bees in may pants

Exercising with Jack La-Lame

Cpt. Wang Chung

I think I'm having a seisure.

flat-Z

bam, you may want to stop that before you get hurt.

Unc'

Ants in the pants

ca

watch it wiggle see it giggle bam is fruity bam bam bam bam bam bam

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #134:

A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom. The bartender feel a tad awkward with just himself and three ducks at the bar, so he decides to make small talk with them. He asks the first duck, "What's your name?" "Huey," replies the duck. "So, how's your day been?" "Oh, I've had a great day," replies Huey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day." The bartender asks the second duck, "What's your name?" "Duey," replies the duck. "So, how's your day been?" "Oh, I've had a great day," replies Duey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day." The witty bartender says to the third duck, "So I guess your name is Louie?" The duck replies, "No, I'm Puddles."

walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsjbEWKK8AU&mode=related&search=

kg

I'm a cowboy, on a rubber duck I ride...

in a druken stupor, judd takes the childhood game of duck, duck, goose to the extreme level.

Confucious say: Man who get really drunk at friend's pool bound to have an inevitable quack up.

flat-Z

i always knew judd was a little quacky.

OK mister ducky...lets go sailing far away from here...

Unc'

Duck Rodeo

my duck's so big, i have to tuck it between my legs. see?

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #133:

Now at the Brooklyn Museum of Modern Art: Chris Ofili's Magnum Opus .... 'The Shitty Mariachi from Juarez'

poop

Nothing to do, but take a poo - it's also true, I leave one too. It amde no sound as it went down - never to be found, my doo-doo brown.

aunt sloppy

I wana see the ducike!!!

There's ol' Bammy chokin' wood again

Get your hands on the new and improved life-sized 'Dirty Svenchez' doll!!!

Unc'

GO TO HELL, MOTAZUMA!!!

tired of losing gigs to migrant musicians, Bamm takes matters into his own hands.

flat-Z

bam, i won't tell sue.

Poncho and Lefty ..

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #132:

"see ya"

scuse me, but does this bus go to red rocks?

they don't call him KD fingers for nothin'

i'm not playin' this song sucks!

When I have my thumb this and my fingers extended like so... yeah like this. I call this the intimidator. Gets 'em so hot.

giggity giggity

"Yeah,I got groupies,just sniff my fingers".

oops!

that's 'Pull'my finger.

griv

Quick,somebody my finger!

flat-Z

Karl, it works better with you hands on the keys.

lets go back to caption contraption #109 for this brilliant entry .. monkey sterals peach. http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u261/chirishboy/monkeystealspeach6zp.jpg

cos

i would like to talk to yooooou...bout jello puddin' pops!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #131:

I,m Bored

he's been whackin' it for a while now ..

flat-Z

maybe DW should get john kane one of those music stands and he'll show up at a gig.

To get Griv to tone down the onstage cock rocking, desensitisation training coupled with a diet high in saltpeter has-- for the time being-- has toned down the "gee I'd really like to get in your pants" noodling and the "watch me stroke my balls like these here guitar strings" riffs...

grivvy

"Oh,this must be the song where I pull off the G string and hammer on the A,or, do I finger the C and gently slide into the A? Hhmmmmm!

'scuse me ladies, while i whip dis out.

between the sheets music

cpt. douche

which instrument is he playing???

Unc'

The real inspiration behind Grivvy's guitar playing

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #130:

kg

at least he finally took it out of his ass

unable to find a full-sized phone booth to reveal his superpower suit and cape, Captain Vegetable improvises, with unimpressive results.

I know my stash is in here~~~OK Jud~~~give it back

CAPTAIN VEGETABLE!!!

Gargamelle parties with the smurfs ..

flat-Z

it must be love.

Unc'

Is that a paper vender on your head or are you just happy to see me?

Darth Snuffeluffugus

I hought you found a place a live ..

FINE...YOU WANT TO TAKE MY YANKEES CAP...I'LL JUST WEAR THIS!

Unc'

tired of his unruley behavior, the band decides to put sven in modern day stocks

bitterboy

knock it off you damn kids!

see woman, I told you we werent drinking that day - I usually do this sort of thing on saturday afternoons...

richard mailbox nixon campaigns in high bridge, news at 11

Unc'

I don't see any houses in here!

alright, woman...where'd ya hide the jamesons!! in here??? nope.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #129:

Or is that the Jameson shuffle?

OK, we've all danced the Wink,do this and you'll be dancin' the Drink!

ok, i give up, just change the picture.

unc'

Drunken modeling school.

Sven Franz, master of witty dialogue

Unc'

Police: FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!!! Carolann: I swear officer! I haven't been drinking! I'm just holding this for somone else!

North American Braided Boozer in her natural habitat

Willy S

Don't be a pussy, what could go wrong?

Joan Vollmer Burroughs

Don't do it. Trust me on this one.

I dammit

I'm hate to be the bearer of bad news, but relying on osmosis is going to get you nowhere.

Unc'

I dreamed this day would come.

oh sven, i've got a bottle of jameson and both hands free.

look ma, no hands.

wasn't there an old joke about the perfect woman and resting your beer, this ones got too many teeth

Now that's talent!

Unc'

Hold still woman! I'ma gonna shoot that boddle right off yer head!!!

The Perfect Woman!

how to attract a sven in one easy step.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #128:

ca

looks like I am going to have to dig into the pic archives for some good fodder

Is that a cymbal or are you just happy to see me?

after abandoning flagellation and sleep deprivation, the us army resorts to a new top-secret torture device..

Unc'

Recent photo leaked to the press depicting inhumane conditions at gitmo.

flat-Z

judd, who's your new friend?

This is MY moment and you're RUINING it!!!!

rock bottom.

Byron! Little help up here??

kg

Why? Why, why, why, why why?????

Unc'

WILL YOU STOP THAT INFERNAL RATTELING!!!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #127:

Caught on tape

Sven's audition to replace the Subway guy.

Unc'

Just when you think your out, they suck you right back in again!

the long hoop of the law

completely unaware that horizontal bungee is not a great idea, sven gives his final thumbs-up. ever.

john

dyer weed ring toss. life is a carnival.

Unc'

WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!

Griv

Sven fell in, to a burning ring of fire and it burns,burns, burns...(OK,so there's no fire here,just use your imagination.

After seeing the movie Contact(you know, the one starring Jodie Foster), Sven decides that he is 'OK to go'...

I like hula hoops - hula hoops make me poop

Unc'

Sadly, Svens flying machine proved to be less than extrodinary.

Despite what Sven believes to be a perfrect Fonzi impression someone from the "offstage of life" gives him the hook.

"What I Learned in the School of Performing Arts", a very short story by Sven Franz (illustrated by Sven Franz); Random House - 2007/ Available in Cliff Notes only.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #126:

i really think we're slacking on this whole caption contraption thing...the picture turnaround time has been horrendous.

Unc'

This is sensless

griv

What would make sense is a new picture

kg

The one that Sven just wrote doesn't make sense either

unc'

I agree. no sense at all

kg

that last one made absolutely no sense

it's surprising that johnny could make it to the bed, but not the new brunswick show.

01.27.07 Johnny Kerplop.

Unc'

Johnny on stage at the Court Tavern.

you can't trust these dirty hippies. that's why i sleep with a foot on my cooler at all times.

swm

enjoys romantic picnics, afternoon naps, loves his mom and his country...and hiw wobbie

"Are we there yet?"

Unc'

Although drunk and passed out, John still has the wherewithall to guard his beer

john kane recovers from a night of swashbuckling

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #125:

there's nothing worse than a double post. really.

And it was then that their eyes met .. the gleam of his sword nearly as brilliant as the gleam of his shiney forehead.

And it was then that their eye's met .. the gleam of his sword nearly as brilliant as the gleam of his shiney forehead.

John of Ark

hey jonny, you better keep that in your pants.

flat-Z

2nd lamest caption contraption ever.

This is why it is no longer OK to bring children to medieval times.

sword fight anyone?

High Bridge cops,Ye beware!

yar

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #124:

Unc'

touche!

moe

well, we were going to use a photo of you awake at baconfest, flat-z; unfortunately, there are no photos of you awake at baconfest.

flat-Z

lamest caption contraption ever.

The hilarious chronicles of a sound engineer who turns into a dog: this holiday season be sure to bring the whole family to see Disney's "The Shaggy P.A."

the only thing that stinks worse is this dyer weed music they keep playing. damn these headphones, damn them all to hell!!!

moE

It stinks. No, I mean it really stinks. You guys. You stink! Jeezus. I gotta bury my nose in my hand for fu*#s sake. Whew.

Moe listens in to make sure Toby is recording in Dubley.

where's the tall one? he usually gives me heineken when i have to listen to this crap.

Unc'

The only reason I'm wearing these is so I don't have to listen to the theramin.

Unc'

O.K! O.K! The first time around was nice, but listening to it for 15 takes is just too much for any dog!

mutt lounge

not bad boys, not bad. but how 'bout we shorten the middle 8 and put a 'bump' at the end, huh?

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #123:

bammy, time to change the foto.

dude i think you've had enough - let ME finish that for you

Bubz

Sensei... please. Teach me more.

listen pal..what will you take for the hat?

There's not enough room in this town for the two of us, Lunger!

look at me when I'm talking to you

I wouldn't change anything, the hat, the shirt....it works

"Some day, I'm gonna grow up to be just like you!"

Only a member of 90 Proof could get way with that shirt...

is that seinfeld's puffy shirt? it's breathtaking

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #123:

please enjoy heineken responsibly.

scary thing is you all are actually posing for this picture

It was obvious to everybody, critics, fans, and the group themselves, that this was one barbershop quartet reunion that needn't have occured.

weeeeeeelll...he's a hindu peddler....

captain and crew for sale, cheap.

How many retards does it take to sail a boat?

Guess the answer is obviously greater than four.

Unc'

"What do you do with a drunken sailor! What do you do with a drunken sailor! What do you do with a drunken sailor! earleye in the morning!"

goodtimes

ship of fools

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #122:

david hasselhoff trying to escape from his german fans?

tharrr she blows cap and i ain't talking bout that white whale

cpt. douche

whack-a-bam? http://www.meltontackle.com/catalog/product.asp?product_id=11194

I remember the days on the boardwalk in the arcade playing that ol' favorite "wack-a-Bam"

crabs

Bubz

Guess this was the part of the trip when Judd took off his sandals in the cabin without fair warning...

Unc'

Pop goes the Bammy!

YAIEIEEEEEE!! I got me halliard pole caught in me jib-zipper!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #121:

la la la nice lady

not to imply in any way that Judd looks like Jerry Lewis ..

Jerry Lewis goes sailing ..

Schmoopy Gum Nuts

naughtycal-man, away!

Commodore Norrington

That has got to be the worst pirate I have ever seen...

AHAB

After dropping the anchor into the sea I had to offer Ishmael to Moby

Captain D.

is the next picture going to be of Bamm flinging poop? ..

Bubz

The Effortless Sex Swing offers the Ultimate Sensual Experience. Our swings allow those with joint and back problems to regain the passion you once enjoyed. The system enables you to perform in positions not possible in a bed, chair or on a table. Size and weight become less of a problem and more of a pleasure with our sex swing. This swing is rated to hold 450lbs total. It will even straddle a king size bed!!! Our swing sets up and takes down in about 10-15 minutes and only requires one wrench or socket to do so. Liners are machine washable "Gentle Cycle" and Tumble Dry. One-year warranty is offered on the swing and the Hoist has a manfucturers warranty. Not sure if it's the swing for you? We have rentals available give it a try for a day, weekend, or by the week. Deposit is required Please feel free to contact us with any questions, comments or when you are ready to order.

that wrecking ball comment is awesome

too much beer and whiskey to ever be employed, and when i got to edgartown it was too much sailors joy

"...like a wrecking ball"

yarr

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #120:

peter gabriel

suck the monkey.

i've never seen sven nurse a drink this long in my life.

for god's sake man .. someone save that monkey and change the photo.

god damned hippy.

I saw a sven drinking a monkey head at trader Vic's his hair was perfect

the real wink again

the below caption refers to the handsome devil in caption #119 SORRY FOR THE MISPRINT ITS MY FIRST TIME

the real wink

fuck all you guys...I am the best dancer this side of danny terrio

monkey see monkey dude

B. F. Barbie

I'll kill that little monkey fucker.

dont they look nice together

Billy the Poet

I think this one's numb from the waist UP.

Laugh-a while you can, monkey boy

that's hot

a prime example of de-evolution

Gina

Leave it up to sven to find booze that comes in monkey head containers, god he is brilliant

cpt. douche

why God invented evolution..

the monkey

oh baby! suck my tail sven! oh you nasty boy you.

cpt. douche

what are you doing to that poor monkey.

Look at that!! Sucking out monkey brains. This little red mug is amazing.

everybody's got something to hide, 'cept for me and my monkey.

Bubz

Ah! Chilled monkey brains!

monkey see, monkey drink

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #119:

AgentOrange

I'm a repressed homosexual with abandonment issues. I'm sorry if I come off as a bit snippy. It's my medication.

OK,I'm justh gonna keep prancthing around like a frigging fairie until you change thith photo BamBam,you big,tall ,hanthome,bad,naughty boy you...

kg

who is this unidentified person/poison, and why such an acidic snit? This wonderful photo should evoke feelings of joy and promote harmony rather than discord. Life is short.

AgentOrange

Yeah you are right. And neither does Judd.

kg

Winnicky doesn't have a band. I don't get it.

AgentOrange

"I sure wish my band put as much time into practicing our music, as we did into these stupid and pointless games."

who is this guy?

dam she's fat I hope she don't wake up

ride that pony, studboy.

tequila!

oh shit. gotta go. i think i left my socks out in the rain.

i love the chicken dance

Her nipples were like this big..

stella got his groove back

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #118:

yeah..it's a regular genius convention in here.

dyerphram...thats great

R-designer

take two,They don't always work !!!!!

DyerPhram. I see a marketing tie-in here. Pure geeeeenius.

A sure fit 4 all the dw groupies

Introducingthe new dyerweed diaphram.

sweet! Well TURN IT UP, DUDE!

See me unravel, I'll soon be naked

huh?

http://www.dyerweed.com/photos/riverjam/image26.jpg

if you want to destroy my sweater (sweater) hold this thread as I walk away

The Secret of My Sucess- how to get drunk, hardly work, and still manage to pick up chicks

well there is a good side, i saved a bundle on my car insurance.

being a lead singer could save you hundreds on your bar bill....it's so easy, a caveman could do it.

cpt. douche

this pic reminds of something.....Now on one CD!! A collection of the most treasured love songs of our generation... or something to that effect.

"hey guys, remember when we used to talk about recording our own one of these? Ha Ha Ha Ha....."

kg

This is an old picture. I wish I still had that sweater/fleece thing.

flat-Z

i think it was "schoolhouse rocks"

tonight we're going to be covering this entire cd. "the carpenters" _love songs_

Bubz

NEW!!! Judd's Picks Vol. 1-- his 'ideal setlist' featuring songs we would never, EVER let him put all together in a single show (oh, but how he has tried!)-- ALL in the key of 'A' including: Damn You My Love, Lower East Side, Franklin's Tower, God Nose, Straight Tea, Mountains, Deal, Injustice, and Get Out My Life Woman

oh, sweet! my "freedom rock" finally came in. i ordered this when i was like 11.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #117:

Can't wait to get a glimpse of that Pitt Jolie baby

Can't wait to get a glimpse of that Pitt Jolie baby

caption contraption

i'm not dead yet, come back here and i'll bite you to death.

guess Sven finally saw this caption photo in the obituary section?

flat-Z

hey look carolann, it says in the paper that bam is going to change the caption contraption. i hate the lies they print in the tabloids these days.

CA

Alright KG - thats it - you n me in the playground 3:30

kg

Maybe you should think about doing a little research Douchey - I don't have much of an appetite

Cpt. Douche

seriously, we didn't think you people still existed.

huh...it says here we had a gig yesterday. huh. oh well.

huked on fonikz werked fer me.

mango chutney, not mango salsa - heathens.

CA

I've kinda lost my appetite

Unc'

I'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa.

4 letter answer

ASSS

I meant gortons...

http://www.gortons.com/

Bubz

Auditions being held at the State Theatre in Easton for the NEW Gordon's Fisherman!!!

"Hey Carolann, what's a four letter word for a guy who went to the School of Arts and still can't do a pierouette on Bam's porch without crashing throug the slider?"

flat-Z

"hey carolann, looks like i didn't make it into the police blotter, how many weeks has it been now?"

"Hey Carolann, whats a nine letter word for word puzzle?"

kg

"Theres a place for us Ziggy. Somewhere a place for us."

Bam

I can't possibly top Capt Douche. A tip of the cap to you, my friend.

contains high fructose corn syrup...

Bubz

Wanted: Laborer; must willing to work for Porter's gift certificates; valid driver's license not required; coming into work when too hungover is not required; must be able to dig a holes and perform pirouettes on command; EOE; call (610) HAF-WEED

Bubz

He can't read, but looking at the pictures seems to calm him down.

Stinky Ass

One more thing Sven....have you ever worked on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea?

Stinky Ass

I have a man crush on Sven....he is my Nordic God...he roams the earth being manly and never apologizing for it....you are my hero Sven!!!! I offer my sister and Brian's wife to you as a tribute....by the way, do you have any Ikea furniture?

Cpt. Douche

somewhere in Easton, a bum is missing his blanket.

the sven takes a read, the sven takes a read, hi-ho the dairy-o the sven takes a read.

"... and he thrusted his purple-headed warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding."

Unc'

"An easton man was arrested Friday night....."

Sven reading the paper.

and then ziggy says, "fu..fu..few..oh, Fuzz - why don't you have any sn...snee...sneaki...sn..sneakers!". I don't get it. Hey, Carolann - do you get this?

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #116:

Say boy, you got a purty mouth...

tommy, guinness, i said guinness.

Cpt. D

Sweet. Are you going to play some Jethro Tull?

DW

Yes,that's right folks,johny is replacing judd on lead vocals and we're going HEAVY METAL!Nothing but metalica and slayer from here on out...we're down with the devil!

Grrrrrrrrr! Me wants a new caption photo.!

PooperTrooper

The new "hands behind your head and spread'um"Cam from inside the cruiser...courtesy NJSTATE POLICE.

kg

Johnny alwyays thinks he can get a laugh at parties by doing his "Spies Like Us" gag.

Reason #328 why you should not use a Flo-bee to trim your pubic hair!

It's stuck,And IT hurts

come on, dont you want to sleep with me? i'm not too intense, am i?

i'm as mad as hell and i'm not going to take it anymore.

Show me your war face!

Ok people....who put the Immodium in my beer? This is not fun!

I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM. I DO NOT LIKE THEM, SAM I AM!!!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #115:

http://www.geo.arizona.edu/~andyf/brimley.jpg

Wilford Brimley

Diabeatis...It's no laughing matter.

kg

not trying to be funny or anything, he kind of looks like a cross between Woody Harrelson's character in natural born killers and Robert Parish

Bubz

Whaddaya mean New Barn?! We just played God Knows. My hand is tired from playing octaves for the past 20 freakin' mins! I'm not going to do it. Play something else. <<<At this point, we start teasing Sven's New Barn blues>>> Fine, you really want to play this? Then find another bassist to play this-- I'm not doing this. Mmmm huh huh. I'm not kidding-- I'm not going to do this. I can't. C'mon. Not New Barn. Fine... You guys are assholes...

i'm gonna keep frowning like this until you change the caption contraption.

Alright people.....who put the ex lax in my beer? This is not fun.

meh.

The pedophile angle. When gay bashing just isn't enough. Good job.

Come here little boy. Want some candy?!

Dougie

Ken made do it! I did'nt like it!

jer

shlosha shlosh a gooba doo. dootie dootie pooh!

No!!! I will not do a Pirouette for you again!

please don't make me angry. you won't like me when i'm angry.

Like a mother bear and its cub, it is never a good idea to stand between and Sven and its beer.

got doodie!

capt. "o" fitzs

I don't like cheese flavored cigarettes

DOLORES CARVATT

"WHAT THE HECK,THAT'S NOT DYERWEED!"

the old barn

Sven, fuck you!

Ah, the elusive brown note returns!

Bubz

Sven does not know the meaning of the word fear. Come to think of it, Sven does not know the meaning of many words...

i'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!

http://www.geo.arizona.edu/~andyf/brimley.jpg

Wilford Brimley

Quaker Oatmeal...it tastes good...and it's good for you.

Puddin' on da Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttzzz!?

Bubz

FrankenSven, of course.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #114:

GNOOOOOOOOOOOOooomes.....

was it crawl, crawl, stagger, crawl? Or roll, roll, stagger crawl..

so, are you sure you need to go home to mrs. o'malley.....cause i've got some time on my hands .....and i'm ..a little lonely...maybe a little bored

and once... this time at band camp...

...you gotta rub my belly for that!

No really where the fuck is the pot of gold?

no, listen; it's pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers and blue diamonds. There are no bracken shelaylees.

Eire-plane...

I've never been with a stuffed leprechaun before... say laddie..have you even been in an Irish prison... Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked, in the head, by a curly leprechaun shoe with a bell on it? Of course you don't--no one does--that never happens.

How can you tell when an Irishman is a gentleman?
He takes off his hat before beating his wife...

Me: hey who's that dummy you're with? Bam: "it's not a dummy it's a stuffed leprechaun" Me: I was talking ot the stuffed leprechaun.

that's the tallest leprechaun i've ever seen. what are they feeding them these days???

"Lishin' pal, whattaya say you and me go find us some cookie'o'puss ?"

they're magically delicious!

Here's a wee song me fathah taught me when I was a wee lad back in the old country... it's goes something like this "AAAANNNNDDD WEEEEEEEE Drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink. AAAAANNNNNNDDD WWEEEEEEE DRink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink. ANNNNNNNDDD WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink and we drink!

...and he says "Aye, aren't ye a little old to be believin' in leprechauns, laddie"! HAHAHAHAHAHA. ehem.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #113:

it's electric. boogie woogie woogie woogie

i am the walrus

Hahahaha.....coppersnot battery....good one..LMFAO !!!!!

"Duracell - the coppersnot battery"

dude, that's not how you do acid

The real reason why Tommy scowls, draws comic books, and doesn't drink.

wow

SK

Who else is sk??????

sk

joey, i told you i need "d" batteries.

SK

Dammit JT I told you I need those for my toy. Now give them back!

our fine olympiads pushing their products.

koo koo kachoob

sometimes batteries should NOT be included.

kg

no wonder my remote doesn't work!

what has 2 thumbs and likes blowjobs..

what do walruses and tupperware have in common? they both like a tight seal.

wish you had brought those the last time I had to sleep in the same room with you..

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #112:

johnny k

Look a couple adolescent leprechaun's out of their nest, it must be getting close to spring

I would just like to know what his other hand is doing. LOL.

kg

I bet him 5 bucks he couldn't pull his tongue through his neck.

Moose

You're a dead man Tommy. So, so dead.

hey did you hear about the large girl who likes to smoke pot and do the nasty while she's all high'd up? well that's where judd and i are going as soon as we can find a ride to ohio.

Cheese!

Tommy suddenly realizes he is not in High Bridge anymore

wow.

Guess we know what Judd is smiling about?

Sssssupertimes

I LUV COCK! I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT I LUV IT!

we're waiting until Tommy and Judd come to terms with the nature of their "relationship".

well with CC's 110 and 111, it was funny because of how unrealistic it was..

no gay references yet? you guys are really slacking...

I am the great cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!

did someone say LSD?!

nice sweater

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #111:

they gave these guys an oscar?

That or he's simply deformed................. ballet dancing FREAK!!!!!!

Ahh. Notice the single point horns on these magnificent creatures native to the area. They gather at the watering hole to try and quench their insatiable thirst. Odd but the male on the left seems to be missing his adornment. Could be he broke his off during mating season.

Mr. Mean

Not only are we the Co-Presidents of NAMBLA, we're also clients!

Sven takes over where Dawn left off...

flat-Z

drunkback mountain. (figured i might as well start off the gay comments)

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle D'oh!

Cpt. Douche.

The crowd celebrates Svens 100th caption contraption appearance.

Mr. Nice

Two swell guys

SVEN'S NUMBER ONE! SVEN'S NUMBER ONE! SVEN'S NUMBER ONE! SVEN'S NUMBER ONE!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #110:

waawaawaawaa

Mr. Mean

Blow it out your ass.

Mr. Nice

One swell guy.

mean people blow

the "other" management

mean people rule!

The management

Mean people suck! Be nice

Wanna go to St. Kitts with me, baby?

SK

Sean Dobson.........no shit. Blast from the past.

Sean Dobson

personally I think "water, OOH agua" was my masterwork.

For all that you think you are...

Justin in awe of the fact that a love song was actually written about him................. by Sean Dobson!

And that surprises you?

kg

wow man, shit ; i saw that movie and like have no recall

drum circle in the sweatlodge anyone?

I need skills... You know like num chuck skills, bowhunting skills... you know... skills!

little thing called

Napolean Dynamite

KG

What the hell did those last two mean?

i told you! i spent it with my uncle in alaska hunting wolverines!

Tina! Come eat your ham!

I do what I want! Gawd!!!

I like tater tots

Ah, the wind in my mouth mini bikes are the shit!

I sure dig toolin' around on this cool ass mini bike.

got any yams?

Uhhhhhhhhh.......I dunno. Give me another beer and let me think about it.

Mickey Rourke?

Stevie Van Sant?

Sri Lanka? She went to Sri Lanka with a guy named Cricket? I must of really pissed her off...

ca

mahna mahna

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #109:

bruce lee

monkey steals peach

"Next time you get into a bar scrap with a hardass that is obviously capable of beating the shit out of you, you should grab him by the nuts like this!"

I bet she'll enjoy that french tickler on your chin

Yes joe she's hot, but i need something i can sink my hands into

If only she had talked to the guy with the ponytail. The world would be a better place.

Iggy

Hey... What can I say? He's not much to look at, but he's got a huge penis.

who's your daddy...

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #108:

I took a picture of my butt once.

kg

Using a revolutionary tactic, Michelle pulls her human marionette's strings horizontally

Chuck Barris

GONGGGGG....!!!

simon

once again jeff totally upstages his backup dancers. bloody stage hog, a bugger of a move if i've ever seen one

dat boy a dancin' fool.

and typical of the north american single mom species - she sneaks up on her prey - before he knows what hit him he is in her clutches - and the cycle of life goes on

Looks like a sobriety test to me!

this shit is bananas. b.a.n.a.n.a.s. bananas.

moops

Jeff and Michelle are obviously "off to see the wizard".

Jeff - what ever you do keep swimming dont turn around

Special K

Aww, shucks guys. I bet you say that to all the weedies. And who's the hottie in the background with the cool asskickers on? :-)

A concerned weedie

Alright Jeff if you are going to make a showing on the Caption Contraption you must be nice to Sue-- no c-bombs!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #107:

david holden

"farewell main street" got gas

Zokk

Prepare to harvest the lower horn!

cut me mick..and while your at it cut A....wheres Adrian?

just for the record, i'm not playing the keyboard in this picture.

I guess bubz was hungry enough to try to eat his own face?

the real ringer

hey partner which way to brokeback mtn.

nenad

how much the love and happiness worth. please help me with your kind helpful help. i met her 7 years ago but strange things happened to my face and now she thinks i am mocking her all the time. back home in serbia i could have a simple operation at hospital and my lover would feel less angry in my presence. please kind helpful people send any monies you can and i will be ever grateful.

franks and beans

Special K

Damn ! They told me not to put the spinach in the pipe.

kg

poor Bubs quit the band before he could fully recover from the contortatron and is thus doomed to look like this forever

Yarr Shannon...what did ye do with me penis. I'm not going out again without it.

ARRRRGH. Wheres my pipe and spinach? And to the thlapper.....what if I'm not a boy??

This band is gay. I quit.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #106:

Unc'

This years celtic fest will feature the ancient sport of Sven tossing.

this whole gay thing really got carried away

I'll thlap you on your ass, you naughty boy...cause I know you like it!

And where r u gonna thlap me? Will it be fun?

Your all nuts !!!! Every single one of ya. And I would know cause I'm a kook myself. Takes one to know one.

thtop it. jutht thtop it or we'll thlap you thilly.

Or what? You'll smack me? Maybe cry? Pick up some dude in the East Village?

Regarding those jokes....too much time on your hands. Go take a nap or something.

now those were bad jokes...

Hoe do you know your best friend is gay?

His dick tastes like shit!

You hear the one about the two queer judges?

They TRIED each other!

You hear the one about the two queer lawyers?

They were messing with each other's BRIEFS!

You hear the one about the two queer spiders?

They played with each other's FLYS!

Cpt. Douche

I know...bad joke.

then you are definitely barking at the wrong door fluffy.

we're here we're queer and we're not gonna' take any shit!

KG

No wonder Svenny and Bam have been pushing to add show tunes to the repertoire

Jeff Spicoli

dude, those guys are fags!

damn it

and by the way...this whole brokeback mtn. thing is getting a little used up. However the bubble being what it is, it was only a matter of time. You scoff, but deep down you know this to be true. You were running out of scandals. Somebody had to step up to the plate.

umm.. I didn't write that.

look dear it's those cowboys from brokeback mountain again, when did this place turn into a western bar?

Which ones Fred and which ones Barney?

Mr. Cynic
Yeah, two pals having a GAY ol' time!

why all the Gay references?
This is obviously two good pals having a swell time.

bam and sven at the brokeback mountain casting auditions.

i guess tommy and judd aren't the only gay ones.

and the honeymoon begins as he carries his ?lovley? bride over the threshhold and into the bar

Cpt. Douche

Sven Franz as "the Ringer"

Unc'

"The hills are alive, with the sound of music..."

Special K

Um Bamm, that he not a guitar and besides you are the drummer in the band. :-)

Super Bamm was always there for the mentally handicapped.

and here we have a picture of Bam picking up his first, of what surely will be many, gay man.

You know, the pattenburg is the bath house of many, many gay men...

when i grow up i want to be a fireman and help people who are to drunk to help themselves

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #105:

time to change!

zzzzzzzzzzzzz - boring

Special K

Just wanna be like JT and say....I forgot the ?

Special K

If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat.

Unc'

early american pavement roller

Anthropologist kg

Day and night the men of the Dyer Weed Tribe would imbibe strange medicines working themselves into a frenzy necessary to defeat the mammoth rusty inanimate beast. This ritual is still practiced and celebrated today.

kg

speak for yourself Svenny

flat-Z

i vote for getting the same camping spot next year.

Unc'

Young and old alike line up for the semi- annual "Smack Judd In The Butt With a Stick" festival!

we want the flori doris...we want the flori doris

opening day of fishing season @ the styx?

forgot the ?

ternojo9

Is that the wall Kong is behind ? and is sven the handuffed bride

I don't get it.

as the giant north american brown corn snake makes it's way threw the backyards of Highbridge, on it's migratory route to the feeding grounds of the hampton public school, the kane boys and dyer weed wait for a chance to hop on and ride the beast to their father's house in glen gardner

the devoted followers of the Cornhole assembly pay homage to Kempton's largest corndog; Kempton being the only place where the giant corndog still grows wild, has made it a mecca for pilgrams all over the world. The assembly perform their age old secret dance of frantic and sometims violent hand waving and stick shaking before they engage in their hedonistic feeding ritual

hey sven if we hit this gas tank real hard it makes a cool sound

dyer weed and family encounter what may be a spaceship from another planet. they try to comunicate by banging on the hull to the rhythm of 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

Johnny and Sven going that extra mile to try out for the new movie, from the creator of A Bugs Life--- DUNGBEETLES!

Random Guy: "You guys think you might be done bangin' on that thing any time soon"?
Johnny: "Um...it doesn't look like it".
Random Guy: "OK"

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #104:

i think sven's hand has been under that poor girl's skirt for long enough. time to change the photo.

Joey T

I love Sven !!!! Joe is drunk at my house. HELP !!! And he still loves SVEN !!! BIg HUgs and KIsses !!! MUAHH !!!!!

hey!! aren't you supposed too be cleaning?

Unc'

Poor me! How will I be reunited with my love?

I think someone has a little too much time on their hands and needs to join a rock and roll band or something...

Bubz

Hello all people of good will! First to introduce myself. My name is Sven and I'm from small town in Pennsylvania. I'm 34 years old. About 7 years ago I met her (my girlfriend – future wife if God helps us) online on IRC. Her name is Barbie (she live in USA) and she is now 23 years old. We where just a friends then and we where talking with each other and hanging around for about 2 years like friends. Helping each other to fix small problems we heaved (usual problems that normal people have). Then in year 2000 I heaved big family problems and I was not able to come to Internet for about 3 years. That 3 years I was working hard to help my family to fix all problems back to normal and we did thanks to God. In September 2003 I needed some stuff from Internet and I went to Internet Cafe to find that what I need online. I menage to find it faster then I meant to stay online so I went on IRC to check if some of my old friends are still coming. Probably it was a destiny that I came in same time as she. She was also having some family problems and wasn’t coming to Internet and irc. And exact same day that I come she camed too. I was so happy that I sow her. We started to talk and I sow that she is angry at me but I didn’t know why, and didn’t understand. When I asked her she didn’t want to tell me the reason. Then she heaved to go and I went home too. Next few days I was confused about that and I was thinking what did I do wrong to her? As I know I did not done nothing wrong to her and I needed to ask her to explain me. 10 days or so after we met again I got some free time and I went to Internet (irc) again. And she was there too. We started to talk and I asked her why is she angry at me? And she told me that she was in love in me all the time but she was shy to tell me. I felt same about her from first day I know her but I newer mentioned that to her because of the distance between us that is about 14000 km. Then we didn’t hered for few month because I didn’t have time to come to Internet and in February 2004 I connected to Internet from home. I didn’t sow her online until 26Th February. And then she camed. We started to talk and I explained to her what was happening to me and about my feeling for her that they are strong. She told me that hers feelings are strong too about me. I told her to take few days and think about everything and tell me does she what to be my girlfriend or no. After that few days we where talking and when 3 days passed away she told me that she want to be my girlfriend and to be with me. That is how it all started. In the month that follows we where talking almost every day with each other and our love was growing all the time… We talked about everything in details and searching the way to be together in real not only online. Money was general problem to us to be together and like months where passing away we menage to gather some money and in December 2005 she bought ticket to came here. In 20Th January 2005 she came to me and we where happiest people on this planet that we menage to get together. We where living together at my house and every minute of our lives spend together was happiest minute in my life. But as time was passing the problems we heaved was starting to grow. We was trying to fix that problems but we didn’t menage to do it. After 10 month spent together in 21Th November 2005 she must go back to USA because if she stays more then 1 year out of USA shes green card will expire and she will lose right for US citizenship. That day wen she left for USA was worst day of my life. I cant explain in the words how I was feeling when she left. Reason that she left was money problems that we have. In year 2004 she her parents make that problems to her credit records because they where against our love and wanted to stop us to be together. In the time that we where together I menage to gather some money (about $3,000.00 USD) and to repay 1 bill that her parents made to her credit record. After that money earned I was out of luck and I didn’t menage to earn more money to pay some more bills and I also got in some debts because I didn’t have money for living (about $5,000.00 USD). Her credit debts where growing and now they grow up to $45,000.00 USD. I don’t know what to do… All work that I start I don’t menage to earn any money, and time is running out for us. We need to gather that money to repay our debts. She is searching for job in USA and I'm trying to earn money from here by reselling accordions. We have to repay that money and then she will be able to get US citizenship and to come here in Serbia to merry me and then we will went to USA and finally live normal. We need “you” good people to help us if you can and like. I newer asked for any ones help, this is hard for me to do but I must because her and mine life's are in danger and our love too. We both suffer for long distance between two of us. If you can help us please do so and donate to us by pay pal. All people that donate to us as soon as we repay our debts and get merry and get normal jobs. I will repay all the money to you that helped us. Thanks and God bless you!!! Sven and Barbie How much the Love and happiness worth?

sven auditioning for the part of kong in the re-make we've all been waiting for

kg

Sven shrudely holds a strange little hula doll to distract the public from his clownish hair. Nice try Bozo.

a strange habit since his early youth, sven always rubs a hula doll with his right hand whilst peeing off the side of a mountain in a stiff breeze. superstitious little prick, eh?

spencer

you're a dead man franz. so... so dead

we have your daughter

send 1 case of twisted tea and 1 family size bottle of captain or you will never see your daughter Gina again!!!!!!

taste like chicken

Svenny, I think you left Carolann in the dryer for way to long.

Special K

BTW. It was my evil twin that left that comment. HA !

Finally, a woman that can accept Sven's lack of girth!

Special K

Apparently the little hula dancer needs to learn to suck, not blow.

flat-Z

sven wins first prize at the hawaian kammana-wanna-lay-ya party. unfortunatly, the hula dancer wasn't exactaly what he expected.

B. F. Barbie

I'll kill that little whore.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #103:

Please

put this photo out of our misery. Thanx

narnar

ill gnar. SHE DOESN"T LOVE YOU. she only loves the schlonger.

harhar

this guys schlonger is HUUUGE.

goodtimes

This caption contaption has lasted way too long. Now I must seek imediate medical attention.

naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

put down the bucket

KG

Tom DeVito in a rather disturbing threesome with Gina and Cousin It

E.

You should have that thing Exorcised.

I don't care what Dawn does with it. I'M not getting anywhere near it.

demonchild

mabie i shouldent of ate the tocos

Welcome to Deadwood. Ya cocksucker.

Sure we do.

ewww - we all dont need to know this!

goodtimes

...and maybe if you would stop eating warm 2-day old NYC corner store sandwiches, you wouldn't take 45 minute dumps!

goodtimes

Maybe this will teach you a leason about taking 45 minute dumps... 45 minutes!

Spencer

So....so dead

Spencer

your a dead man DeVito.

E.T.

E.T.phone hommmmmmmmmmme!

goodtimes

Nothing happened, I swear.

Unc,

If, after taking Viagra, your erection should last more than four hours, seek medical attention immediatly.

Transgender transgression

...and if it's a boy let's name him after you, Gina...

objects in picture are closer than they appear

Is this what happens after a night at the strip club?

i always wondered why gina was with spencer, guess we all know why now.

if woody had gone straight to the police...

Gina

Now thats tomedy

WHOAH - I want to share a bed with Gina next time!

lost

I told you it's BIG !!!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #102:

flat-Z

pick me! pick me! yes!!! oh shit, it's that weird dude in the orange jumpsuit again.

mmm..coconuts

Dat's right, yah. I'm de Amish pimp. So, you vant de floozy wid de coconut hahas or you vant de flat-z nohill over here ya??

flat-Z

i'd have to say that my costume was by far the scariest.

SVEN - step away from my mic!

thats not my belly button

demonchild

WERES THE COFFEE?

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #101:

That's right - I got Yams and you can't have any

lost

HAY MOM I SMOKE POT

goodtimes

Rupred!

kg

Blind crippled albino blues singer and fashion guru Tommy "Bitterboy" DeVito takes some time from his recording sessions to have a couple of beers and share some stories with a refrigerator as everyone has left the room excepting a photographer from Ebony magazine.

demonchild

do i have to drink the tea?

Snuffles

hey, i got a joke for ya. why did the chicken cross the street?to get to the other side.....HA HA HA HA hAAAAAAA!!!!!

C'mon. do it. pull my finger. c'mon. now. please. pull it. pull it now. you know you want to. now. pull my finger...

Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!