CAPTION CONTRAPTION #100:

And never rub another mans rhubarb.

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

hey sailor how'd you like to hoist my mainsail?

What's that you said? A new caption photo?! That'd be f***ing GREAT!!!!!!

table sliding with givvy's help

K "Squiggy" G

Ahoy there Len !

got any yams?

Here's Juddy!

hey, i might be easy, but i'm not free.

I'm FRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

demonchild

1st he smils and glares. second he gets ready to attack! third he ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!

what me worry?

well Gooooollly Sarge

Grivvy never fails to attract the crowds by using his magical powers to stimulate the genitalia of unsuspecting volunteers...

they love me...THEY TRULY LOVE ME...YEAAAH

Did someone say cocaine?!

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #99:

he may have fallen over drunk, but sven never missed an octive.

Bamm - need a new pic - let em see what I can do...

99 photos of crap on the wall...99 photos of crap. Give me a caption that doesn't suck ass, 100th photo of crap on the wall.

so when's the centennial caption coming?

KUMBAYA!

demonchild

im making you go away for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever dnd ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and evr and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and this is making my brain hurt ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh go away.

I too, enjoy a good Merlot.

For the last time, dammit; NO I will not play Freebird for you.

Snuffles

Sven: Listen to my new song. it's about cats,and dogs, and mice, and geese.....

"I gave my love a cherry that had no stone - I gave my love a chicken that had no bone - I gave my love a story..."

Sven

You know Spence, from this angle I have a spectacular view of your BALLS...

E.

Man...Ray LaMontagne's legs are really white.

Jeez. It took a while for bam to change that photo. He's probably stoned. Tee hee heee. He's high. Huh huh huh. Hey, you guys wanna play a cool show in Atlantic City??

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #98:

E.

Cursing is funny.

Polonius Monk

Fuck off college boy!

Polonius

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Bam's nemisis

Do it or die!

Bam's best pal kg

Take it easy you guys. Have you ever heard the sayin "you'll catch more flies with honey" ? Bam Bam, this photo was an excellent idea and showed us for the human goofballs we are and I think that it deserved a little extra play on the old contraption. I can't wait for the next one I really can't. Just wonderin' , when do you think that's gonna be because I want to be the first one to devise a caption. Let me know dude. No rush, I just really need to know and I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think you were cool enough to handle my childish pestering.

Yes, they do. Now change the f*cking photo.

kg

I agree with the new photo comment but one last thought : Doesn't the dress Barn sign look like it's lit with the Hellish flames of Satan? and doesn't Bubbles look like a fetus?

new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo. new photo.

King Tut

Got a condo made of stona!

E.

I guess this is what happens when rock stars get married. Convenience gigs.

Mohammed

She's got everything she needs, She's an artist, she don't look back. She's got everything she needs, She's an artist, she don't look back. She can take the dark out of the nighttime And paint the daytime black. You will start out standing Proud to steal her anything she sees. You will start out standing Proud to steal her anything she sees. But you will wind up peeking through her keyhole Down upon your knees. She never stumbles, She's got no place to fall. She never stumbles, She's got no place to fall. She's nobody's child, The Law can't touch her at all. She wears an Egyptian ring That sparkles before she speaks. She wears an Egyptian ring That sparkles before she speaks. She's a hypnotist collector, You are a walking antique. Bow down to her on Sunday, Salute her when her birthday comes. Bow down to her on Sunday, Salute her when her birthday comes. For Halloween give her a trumpet And for Christmas, buy her a drum.

Habib

All the old paintings on the tombs They do the sand dance don't you know If they move too quick (oh whey oh) They're falling down like a domino All the bazaar men by the Nile They got the money on a bet Gold crocodiles (oh whey oh) They snap their teeth on your cigarette Foreign types with the hookah pipes say Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh Walk like an Egyptian Blonde waitresses take their trays They spin around and they cross the floor They've got the moves (oh whey oh) You drop your drink then they bring you more All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian All the kids in the marketplace say Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh Walk like an Egyptian Slide your feet up the street bend your back Shift your arm then you pull it back Life is hard you know (oh whey oh) So strike a pose on a Cadillac If you want to find all the cops They're hanging out in the donut shop They sing and dance (oh whey oh) Spin the clubs cruise down the block All the Japanese with their yen The party boys call the Kremlin And the Chinese know (oh whey oh) They walk the line like Egyptian All the cops in the donut shop say Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh Walk like an Egyptian Walk like an Egyptian

egyptian

You assholes play a stupid gig in AC and somehow we get a shitty rap? I resent this, I really resent this.

I'm sure the river would make a stinky cologne too. Egyptians stink.

Egypt? Egypt?? We hired Spencer to get us good gigs, and Egypt us.

i thought denial was a river in egypt?

kg

Yes but weaves a fantastic security blanket

Denial makes a stinky cologne.

kg

I don't remember doing that gig, I don't even think that's us.

said Sven.... I want shoes!

goin' to the old barn, but the dress barn will do.

A bad acid trip??

demon child

dyer weed rocks the dress barns SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E.

Tiffany's manager must have been pretty pissed at you guys.

Spencer

If I told them once I told them a thousand times, Dyer Weed Doesn't even show up unless they're playing in front of the TJ Maxx

kg

Spencer sucks ass!!!!!!!!!

We're going to the Dress Barn, but the pottery one'll do just fine.

Dyer Weed. Rocking Dress Barns, WalMarts and Super Stop and Shops since 1998.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #97:

poser

i'm not sure what it is that i'm sitting on, but it sure feels good!

Crabs?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently Bam has been in a turkish prison, seen a grown man naked, and dislikes gladiator movies.

if i had a little pet rabbit i would pet him, and hug him, and kiss him, and i would call him george.

If Fire Marshall Bill had a son..

I'm only tree and a half years old. bbbbbb bbbbbb bbbbbbbbbb.

Yet another byproduct of Ritalin

Bus rides make me poop. Yaaaaaay!

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bus rides are fun! Yeah.

I ride the short bus

flat-Z

in the battle of the caption contraptions #96 and #97. the dorky picture of bam wins by a landslide to the dorky picture of CA. thank you all and have a good night.

demenchild

waaaaaaaaaa i got a boo boo

LSD! In my beer?!

daaahhh I think you go left george

I gotta go to the bathroom daddy

I see this is an equal opportunity non flattering site...

prunes. a great snack idea if you aren't going to be sitting in a van for long periods of time.

believe it or not it was on the way to the show

this must be on the way back after the show.

are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet? Gotta go peepee. are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet???

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #96: 

See. This IS a Fun House.

i'm rubber, you're glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. so there. :P

Stan Laurel

Oliver Hardy's great-grand daughter

She must hang w/ the guy in CC#95

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #95:

Shiver me timbers! This caption is starting to leave a bad taste in me mouth! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Time to swab me poop deck!

Yar sailor, how'd ya like to spend a couple o' months at sea with me.

That's why they call 'em pisstachios, Sven ol' buddy.

Bubz

And at that very moment Sven came to the realization that Johnny had in fact pissed in the Porter's pistachios...

This is the strangest caption contraption ever!

demon child

sorry i dont now if thats bam bam but i feelbad for the person that has to sit next to the demon creature with avery red tongue

demon child

I feel bad for bam bam that has sit next to that demon cteature with a very red tongue

Ha Ha

Snuffles

See Sven, licking the toilet bowl wasn't the best or tastiest way to clean it.

Q: Hvordan kender man en norsk reje? --A: Den står på halen, slår sig på brystet, og siger: "Jeg ær en hymmer"

A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. - "Where did you find that monkey?" asked the fellow pedestrian. - "It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede. - "Shut up, Swede! I am talking to the duck."

kg

long-ass joke writer be damned!

flat-Z

which one of you freaks typed that all out? jesus don't you have jobs?

sven

johnny boy, come over here so i can lick you.

Norwegian, Viking, Sweden, etc. Jokes Ole and Sven are the best of friends, and they have these 2 girls on the string, Lena and Olga who live together in an apartment. One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk, Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?" Sven says, "Donno, but I'm drunk enuf, lets go ask em!". So off they go to the apartment where Ole knocks on the door, Lena answers and says "Vell Ole and Sven, come on in!" Ole no more than gets in the door when he says "Ve yust come to find out ven you girls are gonna make out vit us"....Lena is upset by this and throws them both out slamming the door on them. Ole is persistant, knocks on the door again. Lena isn't stupid, knows it's Ole and says: "Ole if you are gonna be so forward you'll have to talk through the keyhole". So Ole bends to the keyhole and asks "Ven you girls gonna make out vit us?" Lena is really upset now she drops her pants backs up to the keyhole and breaks wind...Ole is backing up and shaking his head, Sven says: "Vell Ole vat did she say?" Ole says: "Vell, I tink she said TOOOSDAY...but her breath is bad and I'm not askin again." Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale." This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go in and ask Ole about it. "Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed da sign in your yard dat says 'Boat For Sale,' but ya don't even have a boat. All ya have is your old John Deere tractor and combine." Ole replied, "Yup, and they're boat for sale." Ole and his wife Lena are strolling along a country road in northern Minnesota. They notice a human head lying along the side of the road. Lena picks it up, holds it up in the air and says, "Hey, that looks like Sven?" Ole replies, "Can't be, he wasn't that tall." It's that time of year again, and Sven and Ole face the nasty chore of cleaning out the old out house. Sven, though, has been thinking about how to make the job a little easier this year, so he suggests that they might use some dynamite placed and timed just right. Sven and Ole get some dynamite and they place some of it around the base of the out house, and light the fuse for it. Then they quickly light the fuse for the rest of it and drop it down the hole. Of course, at this point the run for cover. As they sit protected from their plans, Lena bursts out through the kitchen door and runs straight into the out house. Before Sven and Ole can do anything to stop her, their plans go into motion. "Boom!!!" The first half of the dynamite goes off and lifts the out house, and poor Lena, some thirty feet off the ground. "Ka-Boom!!" The rest of the dynamite explodes and quickly clears out the underground chamber. A few seconds later, the out house comes down and lands neatly back into place. Lena stumbles out a bit shaken and says: "Uffda!! Itz a gut ting I dint do dat in da Kitchen!" Sven and Ole heard of an organization that would pay $5000 for every live wolf. They hunted for days, up and down mountains. One night, they fell asleep around their campfire. In the middle of the night, Ollie woke up and saw they were surrounded 50 hungry, ferocious wolves. He said to Sven, "Wake us Sven, We're rich!" Olaf decided to try raising something different for a change and chose chickens. He went into town to the Feed store and bought 300 baby chicks. Three days later he went back to the counter of the feed store and asks for another 300 chicks. "What happened to the first set?" inquired the storeowner. "They died" was Olaf's terse reply. Well, small epidemics do have a way of happening so the man sold Olaf another 300 chicks. Four days later Olaf was back, needing to buy still another 300 chicks. When told that the second 300 had died as well, the storeowner replied that Olaf just wasn't having much luck with chickens then asked if he knew what was going wrong. "I think I'm either planting them too far apart or too deep" replied Olaf. Last summer, Sven was hitchhiking back to the farm and got a ride on a motorcycle. The biker put the Harley up to about 75 MPH and Sven hollered, "Vhy are ve going so fast?" The biker replied, "the faster you go, the cooler it gets." They came to a crossroads where Sven hooked up with a big rig for the remainder of the trip. The truck driver ran that big Freightliner up to 90 MPH. "Vhy are ve going so fast?" asked Sven. "The faster you go, the cooler it gets." replied the driver. Well, Sven made it back to the farm and later that summer it was a scorcher. 104 degrees in the shade. Sven saddled up his horse and took off riding across the prairie just as fast as he could, got two miles from the farm when the horse dropped over dead. Well, he didn't want to leave the saddle so he started carrying it back to the farm. On his way he met his brother Olaf who asked what he was doin’ carryin’ the saddle. "Horse died." replied Sven. "What did he die from?" asked Olaf. Sven told him, "Near as I can figure out, he froze to death!" Sven and Ole go deer hunting and Ole accidentally shoots Sven. Sven manages to get Ole out of the woods and drives him to the emergency room. After a while, the doctor comes out to Sven in the waiting room. "Doctor, is my friend going to be alright? I drove as fast as I could." "You know, Sven, we might have had a chance if you didn't take the time to prepare him and tie him to the hood of your car." Sven and Ole go duck hunting and Ole is very excited to show off his new hunting dog. They are out in their duck hunting boat and a couple of ducks fly over. They fire and a duck then drops. Ole sends his retriever out to get the duck. The dog jumps out of the boat, runs across the water picks up duck, and hops back into the boat. And much to Ole's dismay, Sven doesn't say a word. Another couple of ducks fly over. They shoot and another duck falls. Ole sends his dog out again. The dog again runs across the water, picks up the duck, and runs back and hops into the boat. Still, Sven doesn't say a word. This happens several more times and finally Ole smugly says, "So Sven, do you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "Ja, he can't swim." Did you hear about the Norwegian who bought a new toilet brush? It worked great, but after about 4 days he changed back to paper. Two neighboring farmers cannot stop feuding. One, out hunting, shoots a duck which falls inside the other's field. Climbing over the fence, he is stopped by farmer #2 who claims the duck as his since it ended up in his field. After much arguing farmer #2 states that he is prepared to settle the matter by the Viking method. He explains that the method involves kicking each other in turn between the legs until one gives up, and the other is the winner. Farmer #1 agrees reluctantly. Farmer #2 states that since they are on his land, he goes first. Farmer #1 stands with legs apart and hands on hips while Farmer #2 takes an almighty swing with his foot and sends farmer #1 into the air. After ten minutes writhing on the ground farmer #1 eventually gets to his feet and prepares to take his turn. Farmer #2 turns and walks away saying " O.K. I give in! You keep the duck!" Two Polish airline pilots were about to make their first landing at an American airport. Carefully, they came in over the runway and descended. As soon as the wheels touched the ground, they put on full reverse thrust and applied the brakes as hard as they could until the plane had skidded to a stop. As both of them sat in a sweat, one pilot turned to the other. “Boy, these American runways are short," he said, "But they sure are wide!" What do you call a one-legged Polack? A Polaroid one step. What do you call a greasy Norwegian? Oleo! Didja hear the one about the Norwegian Lutheran who loved his wife sooo much... that he told her. Sol and Abe have been partners in the garment industry for years. One night they decide to go have dinner and see a show. Just before the first act begins Sol slaps his forehead and says, "Oy, I forgot to lock the safe before we left the office." Calmly Abe says, "Vhat's to worry, we're both here." Did ya hear about the Irishman they sent to London to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe. Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner. "Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?" "Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian. The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?" The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?" "It was ME," chortled the Indian. So the Norwegian paid for the drinks. Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies, "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?" "Fair enough," said Sven. "Ok...my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?" "Search me," said Sven. "I give up, who vas it?" "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota." Why did the Norwegian bachelor farmer take a piece of sandpaper to the desert? He needed a map. Two Norwegians are hiking in the woods and find a set of tracks. The first says, "Those are deer tracks", and the second one says, "No, those are bear tracks". Well the argument got so heated that they didn't notice the oncoming train until too late. An Irishman Walks into the bar, sits down, and sees an oil lamp beside him. He rubs it and a genie pops out. He says, "I will grant you Three Wishes. What is your first one?" The Irishman says, "Hmm..I'd like a Pint of Ale that will never be empty" and POOF! It appears before him. He takes a drink and empties the glass, and the glass fills up again. He drinks and empties the glass again, and it fills up again. The Genie says, "What are your other two wishes?" The Irishman says, "Hmmm...Give me two more pints like this one" A Texan, a Canadian, and a guy from Michigan are out riding horses. The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a couple of swigs, then suddenly tosses the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun, and shoots the bottle in mid-air. The Canadian looks at him and says, "What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!" The Texan says, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey, and bottles are cheap." A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Canadian pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun, and shoots it. The guy from Michigan can't believe this, and says, "What did you do that for? That was an expensive bottle of champagne!" The Canadian says, "In Canada, there's plenty of champagne, and bottles are cheap." So a while later, the guy from Michigan pulls out a bottle of beer. He opens it, takes a sip, and then chugs the rest. He then puts the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, and turns around and shoots the Canadian. The Texan, shocked, says, "Why did you do that?" The guy from Michigan says, "Well, in Michigan, Canadians are a dime a dozen, but bottles are worth a dime apiece!" Lena and Lettie are taking their postprandial stroll past the shops in their small town. Barber Bob has closed shop for the day and is out back in the alley, standing by his incinerator, burning the trash, floor sweepings and hair from the haircuts he had given that day. As the incinerator burns, the early evening breeze wafts some of the smoke over the building and to the sidewalk in front where Lena and Lettie happen to be walking at the moment. The two elderly ladies smell the smoke as they walk along. Lettie turns to Lena and asks, "Do you smell something burning? It smells like hair." They walk along a bit further, Lena's brow furrows and she asks her old friend, "Do you think we're walking too fast?"

yyaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Sven's Mom

"A face only a mother could love"... Well, there goes that old saying.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #94:

Mr.X

sit on my face,and tell me that you love me!

we, dammit

Now you all see why why call Bam the living muppet...

yep... I think it's about time for a new caption contraption... uh huh sure is...

Moe

Gimme the ball, Gimme the ball, gimme the ball, gimme the ball..

Bam Bam doing an impression of the evelasting gobstopper from the original Willy Wonka

Bubz

Only users lose drugs.

must have been some good weed from CC#92 since bam is apparantly still high.

Sue: "Bam decided he needed disney band-aids to cover all his twiddle boo boos from tossing and spinning his twiddle dwum sticks... yeesh."

I don't want to be a Princess!!!!!!!!!!! (especially not a disney princess)

Snuffles

That poor lady who has to deal with that odd creature with th e wierd face. I pity her.

bam pretends he's a star

Look! A sextahorn OOHHHHH! AAAAAAAH!!!

Mr. Obvious

Me so horny

The Bridges' first marriage counseling session:

He's not acting out! He's like this all the time! I can't even go out in public without this kind of sh*t! I let him get that pool and does he improve? No way! And then, there's his band of retards! They're just as bad! They will scream emu sounds on the deck or count the doo-wop part to some Paul Revere and the Raiders tune... 1.2.3.4-5-6.. and THEY think it's funny! Help me doc! Please!

the scene at last week's A.D.D. Anyonymous meeting.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #93:

Q: What do you say to a guitar player in a 3-piece suit ? A: "Will the defendant please rise ..."

Q: How many Dyer Weed members does it take to screw in a light bulb. A: 6. Five to stand around drinking beer, and another to...uh...say, what the hell were we supposed to do again??

Leave it up to the Dweeds that are Dyer Weed to show up for a gig w/out their instruments.

Field of Dweebs

Q: what do you call five dorks standing out in a field? A: dorks.

Imagine that... a band photograph taken in the middle of a field somewhere... what originality. how novel. what a coup.

E.

Hey guys, what's up?

Bubz

You jackass! This is nowhere near Abbey Road...

Flarnidiots.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #92:

Bam will go to extraordinary lengths to promote the fact that he is black from the waist down...

hey mon, change de photo.

Due to flagging record sales Toby and co. work the cross-over crowd.

See what happens when you play island time too often?

Dude... the caption caption is like soooo dead... huh huh... cool. People are going to get all pissed and stuff... and start typing things that aren't funny... dude... I rule... huh huh

penis

i'm not as think as you stoned i am.

please read from bottom.

Levi Stubbs, Abdul "Duke" Fakir, Renaldo "Obie" Benson, and Lawrence Payton (famous running runbacker for the Chicago Giants)

ready ?

hang in there

keep waiting

just wait a while and I'll name the four tops

Vertical smile, oh the fun never stops

Will Smith has no style he should be hosting cops

The "chill"iterate bile of barley and hops

The illiterate child of Jacob Marley and Bob Cratchit

the illigitimate love child of bob marley and bill walton

We're bammin'. I wanna bam it wid you. We're bammin', bammin', And I hope you like bammin', too.

we bammin' - ooh yeah

jam jam

told you joining that band was a bad idea

Jeez I'm really f*&^ing stoned-- say, you have anything I can eat?

shan

So....that's what the Predator looks like underneath all that armor and stuff

Now you see way Bam held off on smoking pot for so long...

I'm livin' on ISLAND TIME...

Bubz

Rasta Rasta-Mon... I want to be a Rasta-Mon...

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #91:

Bam. Bam... You OK? When you get up, you think you could get rid of my picture? Thanks. Peace!

Adios!

Piss off Joe!!!

Time to defib the CC... really...

kg

It's probably with that missing e

It's got to be around here somwhere....

Leave it up to Joey to lose cc #92

KG

I've never seen Joey nurse a beer for this long.

hey where's CC #92..92 92 929292929292992929292

still looking...

Bubz

Joey searches high and low for the elusive Caption Contraption #92...

got any yams?

stella, stop barking. stop barking, no really stop barking. STOP FUCKING BARKING. STELLA STOP FUCKING BARKING. ok, i'm not gonna pet you until you stop barking. ok, whatever, i give up. bark all you want. Tommy, can't you get her to stop barking?

Bam

Joey stoops to pick up Judd's wallet, credit card, bankbook, debit card, birth certificate and random loose cash. Again.

flat-Z

there was LSD at the planet show, and i didn't get any. You all suck.

kg

Oddly, when Joey takes too much LSD the only bad side effect is his tendency to hallucinate dogs.

goodtimes

John plays on after administering the new rolling rock suppository.

E.

can't stop, the body rock. Everybodys doin' the do.

joey does the robot.

Wow. Have they redone the floors since the last time I fell there?

Bubz

Apparently, Joey's feelin' it...

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #90:

heather celebrates after winning the contest for the dorkiest fanny pack. and sven, well, he's just there for the free drinks.

Dyertush

Winners of the 2005 best dressed couple award congratulations

kg

conjoined idiots

kg

nice late rally on this one people

Bubz

I don't know about fanny packs, but here's a duffel bag... http://www.rocktoys.com/3254.htm

Bubz

nope. the NKOTB pouch would obstruct his view.

maybe her camel toe?

uh, I don't think he's looking at her toes.

Well, Sven seems thrilled...

yeah. she can see her toes. big deal.

I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!! I can see my toes!!!

NKOTB in the house...where do you buy fanny packs these days???

hey hey we're the monkeys....

Unc'

The Captain and the Kangaroo.

and Heather is still actually that excited about the fanny pack...go figure...

Sven marvels at perhaps the most ineffective chastity belt in the northeast.

i have pouch, hear me roar.

Bubz

Marsupials Gone Wild-- now on DVD!

Hey, wait just a cotton-pickin' minute. Isn't that MY New Kids on the Block fanny pack??

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #89:

Swilly falls asleep after waiting too long for the caption photo to change...

Dude. Do you think I'm stupid? If he's wax, then where the hell's his wick?...

It was at this moment that Spencer felt just a little foolish for paying the price of admission at the High Bridge House of Wax.

maybe if i keep my eyes closed he'll stop talking

yeah they say stripes make you look thinner but uh.....yeah I don't know.

Bubz

Spencer finds out the hard way that liver and onion sanwiches are a poor precursor to conversation.

am I...boring you

Dude. Swill... Swilly. Wake up, man. The solo's over.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #88:

And if it's any thing like Dyerweed we could be here for a while...

Tommy: so Michelle when do you think bam's gonna change this caption contraption? Michelle: I think he's being polite and waiting for Erich to finish his solo.

B

How'd you like to mow my lawn? Hmmm?

Bubz

Nope, wasn't me, dawg...

KG

Is that an American Idol reference 5 entries below? If it is I demand the author own up right now! I'm betting on Bubbles but will gladly retract and apologize if incorrect.

I guarantee she's saying...

Tommy do you have a cigarette?

got any yams?

who me? No, I didn't drink your beer. What beer? Where? This green thing? Never saw it. Nope, wasn't me...*hic beeeelch*. Nope. Not me. No, maam.

can you watch my beer, Tommy. I really gotta pee!

F@#k that Paula....there is no f@#king way in hell this guy is going to Hollywood.

flat-Z

Psst, Tommy, who's the dork playing air guitar?

"I wish that I had my guitar"

Bubz

Hey man, I don't know why you're upset... what did you think would happen when you decided let Judd stay? Peace? Quiet? A healthy liver?!

Erich finishes his third solo, and still no sign of Judd for verse 3.

Sorry sis, but I can't hear a goddamn thing with Erich playing his friggin' air guitar in my ear again.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #87:

SamSam (haha! you remeber me?)

This is why I drink beer.

barroom?

long live the baroom duck!!!!!!!!

got any yams ?

no

got any nails ?

we'll be good. we promise.

The Management

Please post nice things.......

So Tommy... did you pick up your thousand yard stare fighting gooks in Da Nang or after spending months dating Heather?

So Tom, have you heard any good gossip lately?

Listen; if you ask me one more time if I've got any yams, I'm gonna shoot you.

got any yams?

this is fucking great.

But oh so much fun!

Wow - y'all have gotten to be rather rude and crude out here. Its kinda embarassing!

What is this shit? It's like fucking Provencetown on DyerWeed.com...

did you see that asshole?

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #86:

"...you are crackin' up"

57

flat-Z

how come you don't post hot chick asses? homo.

Bubz

Confucious say: "Man who hunches over too far have crack up."

kg

Goddamn digital age!

kg

who takes pictures like this?

say no to crack

JD

Harmonica Holster... The band sounds a bit 'nutty' this evening eh?

Lacks the je ne cest quot as #57, does it?

asshole.

flat-Z

time for a new caption contraption.

Unc'

Is there a plumber in the house?

Mr Mackey

crack is bad, mmmmmkay?

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #85:

Tommy demonstrates the figure 4 leglock; a lost art amongst his fellow professional wrestlers.

flowbee

wow - she'll do just about anyone

Buffalo Bill

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

kg

that's disgusting, Bam Bam you shouldn't allow this kind of content! Boycott!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a cunt

I smell myself

flat-Z

senator mccarthy has taken over the dyer weed web site.

Unc'

Really

kg

censorship blows

the management

The Silence of the Lambs reference in the recently removed caption, while entertaining to some, would have caused quite a disturbance amongst some readers. OK, the chicks would have a problem. We have replaced said quote with the following and suggest you go research the full version at your own leisure. Thank you. "Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?"...

Tommy demonstrates his patented, scientific new method of g-spot location.

Unc'

Tommy demonstrates what he learned in Tango class.

say you love the devils, say you love the devils, say you fucking love the devils.

Burns house version of kama sutra

Bubz

OK I'm done...

http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,,1100270,00.html

You know you like it!

Erica gets attacked after saying the Devils suck...

1...2...3... Tommy "The Hitman" Ternoski is WWE Champion!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!

Tommy cracks after years of sexual frustration...

Tommy,spending much too much time with his comic books, mistakes Erica for Rubber Man's long lost sibling, Taffy Girl

bois do bois de bop diddy bop

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #84:

The French man always leads you stupid American

kiss me you impetuous fool

goodtimes

Yet another gig at the Blue Oyster.

Dude, those guys are fags!

if you want to get laid, you don't have to dance with me first.

drunks in love...nothing is prettier

Bub Ulz

You have a goatee-- I have a goatee. Let's dance...

Unc'

Kiss me you fool!

Jacob decides to explore the 'bisexual option'...

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #83:

when drunk superheroes try to get changed...

Because he is stuck in a booth, Bam finds he is unable to change the caption photo.

sven tries desperatly to escape after realizing that both bartenders are in the phone booth, and the taps are left unguarded.

I guess Bill and Ted are going to a much more liberal school these days - "Dyer Weed High School football rules!"

nice view, huh Michelle

Jeebus Dawn, you have huge boobs.

they never let poor michelle, play in any raindeer games.

Six months no sex!!! I need to stock up!

Bruno Kirby (from Spinal Tap)

"I wouldn't tell them this but this... this is a fad."

Fresh off the Appalachian Trail, Dawn amuses herself by torturing her friends with the smell of her armpits after weeks without a shower...

This is my harem of men, Michelle. Stop trying to push your way in.

Haitians will try to cram into anything that could float.

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #82:

http://www.angelfire.com/film/tsss/ss/sstinky.wav

kg

Afraid his mustache may fall off, Sven traps the hairy appendage between his upper lip and nose.

Cabbage?!

Still hungry after devouring the picture of Elliot, a demonized Jimmy sucks out Sven's brain

so, there is a face even mother couldn't love, after all.

i'll get you my pretty. and that little dog too!

kg

so I steal your joke and you steal my initials DeVito

JD

Frodo's cousin "Itchy Baggins"

Sven sulks after Elliot's picture is removed...

kg

Sven friggin' dealt it again

CAPTION CONTRAPTION #81:

Jim D

Sven dealt it!

tv's new reality series, the modern three stooges

the oompa loompas

OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO, I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU - OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE, IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN ME - WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU GUZZLE DOWN SHOTS, DRINKING SO MUCH THAT YOUR LIVER GETS CLOTS? WHAT ARE YOU AT GETTING TERRIBLY STONED, WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU STUMBLED ON HOME?

jeopardy

now just what was the question?

swilly: "are you ready, it's a hand!" sven: "that's fucking awesome!" joey: "of course, what the fuck was i thinking."

Read this aloud (preferably at work):

Ummm weeee Todd did. Ummm weeee Todd did. Ummm sofa king weee Todd did.

Special ed night at the pool hall

These three semi-mutated distant relatives of the Andrew Sisters auditioned but, alas, were not picked to go to Iraq and entertain the troops.

Swilly indicates the combined IQ of photographees... obviously, he doesn't know what 3 looks like

Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!

NO!- I need 5 shots! jeez Tommy you are the worst bartender Ever!!!

the dreaded three headed monster from planet drunk.

Bam

jeez. gimme a minute, you freaks.

Space. The final frontier.

3:05 PM Mon

Where's the picture or is it simply blank-- very avant garde! What a caption coup!